


Getting to the Truth

by stellarmeadow



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Angst, M/M, Minor Character Death, Spoilers Season 2, episode related (various S2 eps)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-20
Updated: 2012-09-20
Packaged: 2017-11-14 16:11:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 18,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/517169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stellarmeadow/pseuds/stellarmeadow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Joe makes one request of Danny, and Danny's left to deal with the consequences of accepting, and the cleanup of the aftermath of the bombshells at the end of season 2.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SBG](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SBG/gifts).



> I was pondering the prompts for this when the deleted scenes leaked, and the one with Joe and Danny kind of ate my brain, because it was massive in its implications for everything that happened in the second half of the season, and I just couldn't stop thinking about it. 18,400 words later... maybe it's finally out of my head! Huge thanks to S and to T for the encouragement and for reading every scene with pom poms firmly in hand! Could not have made it without you! This was written for SBG in the H50 Exchange, so SBG, I hope you enjoy it! H50 Exchange mods? Thank you so much for arranging this, and for the extra couple of days when my head vs. desk fight did not end in my favor! (Special thanks to Space for the last minute error catches!)

Danny leaned against the bench, smoothing back his hair with one hand. This whole thing had felt wrong from the moment he'd gotten the text from Joe. _Need to meet. Urgent. Ala Moana park, 1 hour. Don't tell Steve._

Which was about as easy as sneaking an elephant out of a zoo, but Danny had managed to escape the McGarquisition without revealing the true reason for disappearing. Now he just had to find something that was supposedly a Jersey tradition for a bachelor party to keep up the lie.

Considering the urgency, Danny had expected Joe to be sitting there waiting for him, but it was a few minutes before Joe arrived and sat down next to him. When Joe didn't speak right away, Danny looked around for something to say. He pointed at some workers decorating palm trees for Christmas. "Y'know, I've been living here for two years, and I still can't get used to wreaths on palm trees."

"Well, you just gotta get with the program, kid."

"Yeah, well, I am trying, okay? A little snow would help, I think." And maybe a certain Navy SEAL gift wrapped under his tree, but he certainly wasn't mentioning _that_. Not to Joe, especially.

"They got snow on the Big Island," Joe offered.

Danny jerked himself out of his fantasy of Steve in nothing but a bow. "Do they?" At Joe's nod, Danny said, "Hm. Well, I think one island's good enough for me." He leaned forward, elbows on his knees, done waiting. "So what's up? You said it was urgent."

"I need you to help me with McGarrett. Get him to stand down on this Shelburne thing."

Danny nodded as if that was a logical request when it came to Steve, when they both knew it was a ridiculous concept. As if Steve ever backed off of anything. As if Danny could control him. "Oh. Okay. You got a cattle prod I can borrow for that?"

"I'm serious, Danny. Everything I'm doing is for his own protection."

"Ah, right. Like keeping secrets, kidnapping Yakuza bosses...."

"Yeah, well, I didn't really have any choice about that."

Not for the first time, Danny cursed the fact that the good things about his new life in Hawaii--5-0, his team, Steve--came with a heavy dose of crazy. "I don't get you, Joe. You come here, you're supposed to be helping Steve, and now you're lying to him, and you're asking me to help you, which makes it worse."

"I'm just asking you to buy me a little time so I can get to Shelburne before Wo Fat does, otherwise there will be repercussions, and Steve won't be the only one in the crosshairs."

Danny considered that, but before he could reply, Joe reached into his pocket and held out a slip of paper. Danny took it, unfolding it to find a series of numbers on it. "What's this?"

"Insurance. Anything happens to Steve or to me, you call that number."

"What do you mean, anything happens to you or Steve? What are you talking about?"

"Just promise me you'll call that number, Danny."

Danny looked at him for a long moment. "Okay," he said finally.

Joe smiled, his relief doing nothing to help Danny feel better about having agreed to keep this from Steve. "Mahalo," Joe said, clapping Danny on the shoulder as he stood and walked off.

Danny looked at paper, 81 75 556748 written in Joe's scrawl, so similar to Steve's that Danny wondered if they taught strategic op handwriting at SEAL school.

He'd gotten good at keeping at least one secret from Steve--he was pretty sure Steve had no idea how much Danny wanted him. And that was for everyone's good.

But he felt like a heel, keeping something from Steve that might lead to answers about Shelburne. He knew how important it was to Steve. And yet...he still had nights where he woke up in a cold sweat, imagining a different outcome in Korea, nightmares where he found Steve on the floor with two bullets in him instead of Jenna, or opened the back of that truck to find Steve dead.

Wo Fat had tortured him when he wasn't even sure Steve had known anything about Shelburne. He just assumed he might know something.

What would he do if he knew Steve had a solid lead?

"Fuck."

Danny scrubbed his face with his free hand before pulling out his wallet and carefully placing the folded paper behind Grace's school picture. He stood up, tucking his wallet into his back pocket, and headed for the car to make up a new tradition in time for Chin's bachelor party that night.

***

"I just don't get it," Danny said, not for the first time. "Why would you hire a hit man to kill a teenage girl?"

"Well, nobody spends that much money on a hit without a reason," Steve said, swerving around two cars to sneak under a mostly yellow light, even though they were only going to talk to Emily's father and not on their way to a crime in progress. "It wasn't that kid, though. Even if he'd made that much from his blackmail, no way did he have the contacts to hire that kind of assassin. There's something off about this whole thing."

Danny tapped his fingers on his knee. "Yeah, by the way," he said, thinking about the weirdness between Steve and Joe before they'd left HQ, "what was that stuff with Joe about?"

"What stuff?"

"Before we left. You told him to lay low. What's that about? Is he in danger?"

Steve took a deep breath. "HPD brought him in for questioning about Hiro's death. Hiro's son has the Yakuza practically following Joe with guns half drawn. And he keeps making trips to Japan to do God only knows what. So I figure the less he's out where he can get into trouble, the better."

Danny felt the weight of that phone number in his wallet. A number in Japan--Danny had looked up the country code. Joe's trips to Japan had to be connected to that number. But Joe had also spent half of Steve's life protecting him from anything and everything where this was concerned, including protecting him from Steve himself. And Steve was still alive, even if every run in with Wo Fat or anyone connected to him seemed to be doing its best to kill Steve slowly, one encounter at a time.

Danny couldn't get North Korea out of his head, no matter how hard he tried. He had the dark circles from too many nightmares to prove it. He'd come so close to losing Steve altogether.

It was on the tip of his tongue to ask if Steve knew anything more about Joe's trips to Japan, but the phone number was practically kicking his ass through his wallet. He didn't dare say anything even remotely leading. The quickest way to make Steve suspicious would be to start agreeing with him. Or disagreeing. Or discussing it any further. Period. "So if it wasn't the kid," Danny said, jumping back into the safety of the case, "who do you think hired the hit man?"

***

Danny juggled two six packs of Longboards as he opened the door to Steve's house, shaking off the rain that had started as he'd pulled up. He shoved the door closed with his foot and started to call out to Steve, but a banging from the kitchen made it unnecessary.

He went through to the kitchen to find Steve opening and closing cabinets with more force than necessary. Then again, considering he was in Ninja mode, complete with guns and a tac vest...

"Did the cabinets take hostages?" Danny asked mildly, putting down the beer.

"What?"

Danny had been the recipient of that sharp tone too many times to flinch. "I was asking what the cabinets had done to warrant Ninja SEAL."

"I can't find the damn bottle opener."

"The bottle opener?" Danny pushed past Steve, brushing against him as he pulled open a drawer and reached down beside the tray inside. "You mean this bottle opener?"

Steve glared at it as if it had personally shot him before flicking an accusing look at Danny. "Did you hide my bottle opener?"

"Did I--?" Danny rolled his eyes. "Yes, Steven, I thought it would be fun to sneak in here when you weren't home and hide the bottle opener," he said. "And I thought it would be even more fun to hide it exactly where it always is every day."

Steve opened his mouth, closed it, opened it and closed it again before his shoulders slumped just a little. "Sorry, just...bad night," he said at last, running a hand through his hair and down to his neck.

"I'm gonna go out on a limb here and guess that this isn't just about Sutherland falling to an untimely--albeit very much deserved--death."

Steve shook his head. "I just had to rescue Joe from Adam Noshimuri."

"Rescue? What happened?"

"I..." Steve was massaging the back of his neck as he looked for words. "I went to see him," he said at last, dropping his hand to his side. "It was obvious he'd been taken, and I knew exactly where and by who."

"So you just went after him by yourself? You couldn't stop to call for backup? Wait, what am I saying?" Danny threw his hands in the air, his laugh bitter. "Of course you couldn't."

"Danny--"

"No. Stop. Right now. Because I don't need any explanations for you being you. Just...tell me what happened."

Steve took a deep breath. "I think I'm gonna need a beer for that. Or six."

"Lucky for you I brought beer and I know where your bottle opener is." Danny grabbed one of the six packs, letting Steve get the other, and went back to the living room.

He dropped onto the couch and opened a beer, holding it out for Steve before he realized that Steve hadn't joined him on the couch. Steve was standing between the kitchen and the couch, staring at the coffee table.

"I swear," Danny said, putting the beer down and standing up, "you are the worst Army soldier ever."

"Navy," Steve said automatically, none of the usual annoyance coloring his tone.

"Whatever branch--did they not teach you how to take off your gear?" Danny pulled the tac vest off Steve's body, trying not to touch him any more than necessary. Too much touching left Danny with visible side effects, and a hard on wasn't going to help anything.

He went to work on the thigh holster next, giving him the opportunity to fondle Steve's thighs, which led him to having to deal with at least half a hard on after all. "Okay," Danny said when he was fairly sure Steve was disarmed enough that he wouldn't shoot a hole in the couch, "sit."

He guided Steve over to the couch and pushed him down, frowning at the ease with which Steve obeyed. Danny sat next to him, reaching for the beer he'd opened and putting it in Steve's hand. That seemed to rouse him a little, and he took a long drink.

"So what happened?" Danny asked.

Steve took another long drink. "Adam had Joe tied up. He was trying to beat a confession out of him," he said quietly. Too quietly. "So I went in and got Joe out of there."

Lips thinned, Danny took a couple of deep breaths. "Should we be worried about HPD paying a visit?"

"What?"

"Did you kill anyone?"

"No." Steve gave a half shrug. "I shot one of them in the leg, but given that they're Yakuza and they were torturing someone, I don't think they're going to report me."

Danny grabbed a beer. "So you rescued Joe," he said as he opened the bottle. "Then what?"

"He told me," Steve said, stopping to finish his beer. Danny took the empty and handed Steve the one he'd just opened, grabbing another for himself. "He told me," Steve repeated, "that he did not kill Hiro. He helped Hiro fake his death."

Bottle half way to his lips, Danny stopped, whipping his head around to look at Steve. "He what?"

"He helped Hiro fake his death."

" _Why_ would he do that?"

"Why does he do anything?" Steve asked. "Your guess is as good as mine, because he certainly doesn't feel the need to explain it to me."

"Well did you ask?"

Steve gave Danny a 'do you think I'm an idiot' look over the top of his bottle as he drank. "I didn't just ask," he said. "I stopped the truck and demanded answers."

"And?"

"And he got out and walked away."

It took Danny a moment to process that. "He got out of the truck and just walked off?"

"He did," Steve said with a nod. "Don't know if he walked home or called a cab or what, but he got out and walked away."

Steve finished his beer in one long drink. "He didn't care," he said, leaning forward to put the empty bottle down and grab another one, "that I was tortured, that Jenna was shot and killed right in front of me, that all of you had to risk your lives or worse to come and rescue me. None of that was more important than his fucking secret!"

He pulled the bottle opener out of Danny's hand and opened his bottle, dropping the top and the opener on the coffee table. "Whoever Shelburne is," Steve said at last, "it's more important than me, you, our team, or anyone, apparently."

"But hasn't he said he's protecting Shelburne to protect you?"

Steve's brows drew together in a way Danny knew meant they were on dangerous ground. "And look how well that's worked so far," Steve ground out, lifting his t-shirt to show the still-healing bruises and burns from his torture session at the hands of Wo Fat. "If this is protecting me, I'd hate to see what it would look like if he threw me to the wolves!"

"Calm down a minute," Danny said, wrapping his hand around Steve's forearm. "Have you stopped to think about what would've happened if you'd had the answers Wo Fat was looking for?"

"I wouldn't have told him."

"Look, I know you SEALs are trained to endure torture," Danny said, his grip tightening on Steve's arm a little, "but what if he'd drugged you? You'd have had no choice, and once he had his information, what do you think he'd have done?"

"It wouldn't have come to that--"

"Yes, it would!" Danny let go of Steve's arm to pull Steve's shirt up higher, placing a hand across the ugliest burn. "This," he said forcefully, "will heal. But if he'd drugged you, and you'd told him, he'd have shot you. Right then and there. And you'd be dead."

Steve's nostrils flared, and Danny could tell he was searching for some argument. He could also tell when he came up with nothing. "You don't know that," was all he could manage.

"Oh, really? I didn't know we were in the second grade," Danny said. He felt some of the tension leave Steve's body, which was when he remembered his hand was still on Steve's abdomen, the slightly scarred flesh warm beneath his palm.

His hand seemed to have a mind of its own, refusing to move. Danny looked up at Steve's face, something lurking in his eyes that Danny couldn't interpret. Steve licked his lips and glanced down at Danny's hand.

He managed to wrench it away, sitting back on the couch, leaving just enough distance between them that they weren't touching. He cleared his throat and took a long drink.

"Danny...."

Something in Steve's voice made it impossible for Danny not to meet his eyes, that look there again. Danny struggled to figure out what it meant. "Yes, Steven?" Danny said, his voice hoarse.

Steve opened his mouth, but instead of words, a large belch came out.

The tension broke, and Danny laughed much harder than it probably warranted. "Definitely second grade," he said when his laughter subsided.

"Not quite," Steve said, something odd still in his voice, but he was smiling now. "High school, maybe."

"I'll give you that one," Danny said, sobering as he remembered what they were talking about. Joe's adamant refusal to tell Steve anything, and the way people seemed to get tortured more often than not over this whole mess, made it impossible for Danny to even mention the phone number. And if it bothered him every single waking moment and most of his sleeping ones as well, then that was his torture to bear.

"So," Steve said, "TV?"

"Yeah."

Steve switched on the TV, finding an action movie they could mock and argue over, and Danny did his best to ignore his secrets and just enjoy himself.

He was only marginally successful, but he'd mark it as a win.

***

Danny took another bite of his food, but it tasted as much like sawdust as the last. The events of the day had ruined his appetite. It wasn't just the fact that he'd helped his ex-wife give birth to someone else's child--the child she'd originally told him was his--that was distracting. It was the sight of Steve McGarrett, health nut, digging into an actual Zip Pac.

"Do you know what's in Spam?" Danny mocked, having heard those words all too often from Steve.

"Shut up," Steve said around a mouth full of food.

"I mean, really--was your usual vegi-tofu burger not enough for you? Did you have a sudden hankering for the meat of your youth?"

Steve's eyes darkened, and Danny went back over his sentence, wondering what he'd said. "I can indulge occasionally," Steve said after he swallowed.

Brushing away images of Steve and indulgences, Danny pushed his half-eaten dish aside. "What happened?"

"What do you mean?" At Danny's somewhat-patient look, Steve rolled his eyes. "Something has to have happened just for me to eat Spam?"

"Do I really need to answer that?" After a moment of silence, Danny said, "Fine, yes, something terrible has to have happened in the world for you to be eating Spam. And since we haven't been called to avert the apocalypse, then you need to start talking."

Steve's mouth twisted up in a way that Danny told himself was in no way attractive, even if he wasn't buying into his own lie. "Joe left," Steve said, after a long moment.

"Left?"

"Left."

"Where to?"

Steve shrugged. "He said he'd know when he got there."

"Did he give you a reason?"

Steve looked around before wiping his mouth and pushing his food aside. "Are you done?" he asked, nodding at Danny's plate.

"Yeah."

"Let's go."

Danny followed him out to the car, waiting until they were out onto the road before prompting, "So, why did Joe leave?"

"He said he was putting me and everyone I cared about," Steve said, glancing at Danny, "in danger by being here. And he had to go."

"Did he explain how he was putting everyone in danger?"

Steve checked the rearview mirror and side mirrors twice, even though Danny knew that freakish brain of his could tell you the color, make and model of every car around them. Even when he was certain they were safe, he lowered his voice. "He said he's Shelburne."

"What?" Danny twisted in the seat, staring at Steve. "All this time, everything that happened, Jenna, you...and now he suddenly just admits it?"

"Yeah, seems a little suspicious, huh?"

Danny looked for words, none of which could be, 'hey, by the way, he gave me this phone number....' "Did he say why Wo Fat is looking for him?"

"Apparently Wo Fat believes Shelburne killed his father."

"Did he?"

"Joe said he did it."

Danny studied Steve carefully. "But you don't believe him," he said slowly.

"I don't know what to believe, Danny." Steve's grip tightened on the wheel. "All that crap about trying to protect me, and the whole time he was the reason I was in danger, and then he suddenly just tells me and takes off?" Steve's glance held confusion and more hurt than he probably realized. "It doesn't add up."

"So what are you going to do?" Danny asked, trying to ignore visions of Steve being tortured somewhere Danny couldn't get to him without Joe's help. Unless that magic Japanese phone number _was_ the help.

"Do?" Steve shook his head. "What can I do? He's gone."

Danny raised an eyebrow. "So that's it. Joe's gone, end of investigation?"

Steve's mouth tightened to match his white-knuckled grip on the steering wheel. "How many people I care about have to die before I give it up?" he said quietly. "You think Jenna is going to be the last if I pursue this again? Who's going to be next?"

"You think Wo Fat's going to stop coming for you if he thinks you know anything?"

"I think he's lying low," Steve said. "And maybe Joe will pull him off the scent for a while." Steve glanced at Danny, his eyes dark. "But no, I don't think he'll stop. He's after the man who killed his father. You don't stop. Not with something like that."

The similarities between Steve and Wo Fat would be chilling if Danny didn't know Steve's heart better than Steve probably knew it himself. "So what, then? Wait it out?"

"I don't know yet," Steve said. "I'll let you know when I figure that out."

'Before or after you do something stupid?' was on the tip of Danny's tongue, but he kept it from coming out. "We're here to help," he said instead. "You know that, right?"

"I know." Steve's voice had that richer, husky tone that made Danny shift in his seat. "Danny...what you did for Rachel...I don't know anyone else who would've done that."

"You would've."

Steve gave him a faint smile. "Maybe. I don't know." His smile deepened as he stopped at a light and gave Danny his full attention. "Being a father," Steve said, stopping for a breath, tapping his finger on the steering wheel. "You set the bar for fatherhood," he said quietly after a moment. "Other people should take note. That's all."

The light turned green and Steve pulled away, leaving Danny to stuff about a million feelings into a lock box to be dealt with later.

***

_Danno, I'm gonna need you to hold down the fort for a while. I'll be in touch. Mahalo._

Danny folded the letter back up and put it away, creases worn after a week of being folded and unfolded and stuffed into his wallet. He stared at the front of Steve's house, shuttered, dark and still, waiting for its owner to come home. Danny sort of knew how it felt.

Unlike the house, however, he was tired of waiting.

"I'll be in touch my ass," Danny muttered as he got out of the Camaro and stalked over to the front door. The key was still on his key ring--for all his protection of his privacy and his home, Steve had never even hinted at wanting it back, and Danny hadn't really wanted to give it up.

He went inside, turning on a few lamps as he walked around the room, each one lighting up memories. He had a lot more memories in that house than one would expect for someone who didn't live there. But what haunted him weren't the memories he had. It was the ones he didn't.

He hadn't fully realized until he'd gotten that note how many things he really wanted to say to Steve. Needed to say. They were stacked up in his head now waiting for Steve to get home, and for Danny to decide if he was going to say them before or after he kicked Steve's ass for leaving.

With a sigh, Danny went into the dining room and pulled the Champ box out from under the desk. He sat down and opened it, sorting through the evidence that seemed to have grown since he'd last seen it.

A map he found near the top was definitely new. Well, the map itself was old, clearly, from the well-worn, slightly aged paper, but it was not a piece of evidence Danny recognized. He had it halfway open before he realized the significance. One word--Shelburne--written in someone else's handwriting, pointing at a city just off the Shima Peninsula, the only place on that part of the map that sounded even remotely familiar to Danny.

The arrow was several hundred miles from Kyoto, which was supposedly the origin of the number Joe had given Danny, if the internet was to be believed. He wondered for the trillionth time if he should just call the number. Joe and Steve were both gone, and Danny had no way of knowing if they were in trouble.

He certainly didn't know from McGarrett himself who, for all his 'I'll be in touch,' bullshit, had not answered a single one of Danny's hundred or so messages, or bothered to call for any other reason. His phone was obviously still on--sometimes Danny would go straight to voicemail, but others it would ring, indicating that it was working, but Steve was just a dick who wasn't answering his damn phone.

Which left him with the Kyoto number. Joe's phone had been going to voicemail for a couple of days, and Danny had no idea if that meant he was in trouble, or just making it harder for Steve to track him.

_Anything happens to Steve or to me, you call that number._

No instructions on what to do if he only thought something might have happened. Joe had been as helpful as always. Danny itched to call the number, but if they weren't in trouble, how much would they be in if he called? Could he inadvertently cause them to be in greater danger just by dialing that number?

He tossed the map on the pile of evidence, sitting back and digging the base of his palms into his eyes. Fuck both of them for putting him in this position anyway. He felt like he was playing Russian roulette, only with the gun to someone else's head.

He needed perspective. He couldn't tell anyone about the number, but Chin knew the evidence, and he knew Steve's father better than any of them. Maybe something in the evidence could help Danny decide.

Danny pulled out his phone and called Chin.

***

When Danny saw Steve standing next to a helicopter with Wo Fat, gun out (of course), many guns aimed at him (of course), he was torn between wanting to either throw himself in front of Steve or shoot him in the leg.

His head had been like a roller coaster for hours. He'd been kidnapped by the "good" guys (bullshit), and told that Steve was as good as dead. All that time alone, tied to a chair, he'd gone back and forth between the certain knowledge that there was no way a dick like Kendricks was going to be able to kill Steve, and the just as clear certainty that no one's luck held out forever.

Finding out Steve was alive was even better than getting unexpectedly rescued. Getting to Dillingham and finding Steve at gunpoint, again, was almost more than his heart could take.

But Steve's luck had held, and the only one dead was some asshole who more than deserved it. Danny thought of about a million different things to say when he was walking up to Steve, the top five being: _You're an idiot. Stop trying to get dead. You nearly gave me a heart attack. I hate you. I love you._

And then he saw that face. That stupid, apprehensive, 'I'm going to wait for you to speak first to see how pissed you are' face. "See, I knew it," Danny said, instead of all the stupid feelings in his head. "Cargo pants."

Some of the apprehension faded. "Book 'em, Danno."

It was seriously wrong how much that phrase made his heart flip. Maybe Kendricks' slap had knocked something loose in Danny's brain. "You could've just said hello," he managed, but there was nothing but fondness in his tone, and he almost turned into the hand that lingered on his shoulder, before he remembered he had someone who was long overdue for being shoved into the back of an HPD cruiser and carted off to the deepest hole they could find for him.

He pulled away, glancing back to watch Chin and Kono get their hugs. When Wo Fat was safely locked in the car, Danny joined the team again. He looked at Steve, bloody--a far too frequent sight--but happy. "What a mess," Danny said, the words encompassing far more than just the scene around them.

"Yeah." Steve pulled him into a hug that was all too quick, and Danny refused to even attempt to cling, letting go quickly. He watched as Steve surveyed all of them again, as if he wasn't quite sure they'd managed to survive without him.

Before Danny could make a snarky comment, however, he felt himself pulled in close to Steve, who was grinning and holding Danny tightly, as if he wasn't planning on letting go anytime soon. Danny was perfectly okay with that. It wasn't going to stop him from letting Steve have it later about taking off, but he was okay with being pressed against him in the meantime.

As long as he was warm and solid against Danny's side, it was firm proof he was alive. And that was what mattered for the moment.

***

Steve being Steve, he insisted on taking Wo Fat to prison himself. Danny couldn't blame the guy, given the circumstances. If someone was responsible for one or possibly both his parents' deaths, well...he's pretty sure he wouldn't have come back from the jungle without that person having an accident involving a cliff or a tree.

Danny followed the transport in his Camaro as it left HQ, the sun rising as they reached Halawa. He waited outside in the car, making a quick call to Grace before she left for school, while Steve got the pleasure of locking Wo Fat away.

When he saw Steve coming, Danny buckled his seat belt and turned on the car as Steve approached the passenger side door. As soon as he was in, Danny took off. The drive back to Steve's house was quiet, Steve's head resting against the window, his eyes mostly closed.

He didn't stir until Danny pulled up to the house. "Up and at 'em," Danny said, shaking Steve's arm gently.

"I'm up," Steve said, his voice sounding as though he'd been gargling with rocks. He did look alert, though, getting out of the Camaro and walking up to the house with his usual energy. When Danny closed the door behind them, he realized he hadn't really had a chance to clean up, and the mess on the couch was quite impressive.

Steve turned around, quirking an eyebrow at him. "You move in while I was gone?"

"Well, it's not like I knew if you were ever coming back again," Danny replied with a shrug. "Your note was non-specific on timing. But I'd have written you back to let you know I was staying here, except, oh, wait, I'm sorry, I didn't know where you were."

"Danny--" Steve closed his eyes briefly, shaking his head. "It's fine. Stay as long as you want." Steve made for the kitchen, but caught sight of his father's desk and stopped. "You went through the box," he said slowly, turning back to look at Danny again.

"Yes," Danny said, nodding, pulling himself up for a fight. "I went through the box. I didn't know where you were, I didn't know if you were alive or dead, and I didn't know what to do, so I went through the box." _Because I had no other way of knowing if I needed to use the phone number Joe gave me._ The number he still wasn't sure he could mention. Just because they had Wo Fat didn't mean the Shelburne issue was all fixed.

Steve took a deep breath. "Did it ever occur to you," he said after a moment, "that maybe I was going off to do this on my own to protect you? To protect all of you?"  
"Of course it did. Did it ever occur to you that maybe I don't want to be protected? Chin, Kono, they might not want to either?"

"Danny, I don't think--"

"No, no, you can stop right there, because you just hit the nail right on the head there, my friend. You don't think. You do things, and you don't stop to think there might be a better way to do them."

Steve's arms shot out to his sides, both palms up. "Like what, a way that gets you killed?"

"Because getting yourself killed is just so much better."

"I'm trained for--"

"So am I!" Danny ran a hand through his hair, spinning in a little circle before facing Steve again. "I am a cop. A damn good cop. And I am trained to face this kind of danger, and frankly, Steven, it's a little insulting that you think I can't handle it."

Steve's eyes widened. "I never said you couldn't handle it."

"Why else would you feel the need to bench me? Clearly you think I can't handle the danger."

"That's not it at all!"

"Then what is it, Steven? Because I've spent a lot of nights trying to figure it out over the last couple of weeks, and that's the only thing I've got."

Steve was breathing harder now, energy coiled just under the surface in a way Danny was used to seeing right before a takedown. "I..." Steve pressed his lips together hard. "You..." He stared at Danny.

"I you what? You're suddenly a non-verbal caveman? Here, let me help. You didn't think that I was as well-trained as your SEAL buddies, so you made sure to leave me out of the scary ops. Does that about cover it?"

"No!" Steve stepped forward, hands gripping Danny's biceps. "You're worth a team of SEALs in the field Danny, it's not that, it's just...."

"Just. What?"

"Wo Fat...he's used everyone I cared about against me. I can't...I couldn't...."

Danny counted to five, but it wasn't helping. "You couldn't what?"

"I couldn't put you in--I couldn't deal with..." Steve took a deep breath, his eyes holding Danny's. "I couldn't lose you like that. If he'd had any clue, if he'd seen even half of--"

He broke off, fear evident in his eyes, and Danny lost some of his anger, suddenly much more interested in getting to the end of that sentence. "Half of what?"

Jumping off a cliff didn't even make Steve look this scared. "Half of what you mean to me," he said quietly, after a long pause. "If he'd seen it, he'd have used you against me, and I couldn't be responsible for your death. I couldn't handle it."

"Listen to me very carefully," Danny said, his hands gripping Steve's elbows. "The only way you could be responsible for my death would be to put a gun to my head and shoot me yourself. Anything else that might happen to me would not be your fault. And you need to get that if we're going to do this."

Steve blinked rapidly. "Do what?"

"This."

Danny let the memory of his utter terror at hearing the CIA's plans for Steve's plane overcome any worry that this could be a very bad idea and stepped closer to Steve, hands landing on Steve's waist. He leaned up, closing his eyes, grateful when Steve's lips met him halfway.

The kiss was careful for about two seconds before Steve seemed to fully realize what was going on. Then there was nothing careful about it. Hands were everywhere at once, and Danny wasn't even sure whose hands were where. The next thing he knew Steve was sitting on the couch, naked, and Danny was on top of him, pants long gone, shirt wide open, hanging half off one shoulder.

He couldn't have cared less about the clothing, though. He was much more interested in the nakedness, in how his skin felt against Steve's, and how their cocks were rubbing together, Steve's hand gripping them both as they moved.

Danny felt like he couldn't get enough of Steve's mouth, or of the sounds he made as Danny tasted his skin, and he managed to push away one dark thought wondering if he'd ever get this again before he came, blotting out all thought completely.

He felt Steve push up hard against him, though, and felt more sticky warmth between them as Steve's breath was harsh and hard in Danny's ear. Danny licked at Steve's neck, making Steve shiver. "Keep doing that," Steve said, sounding completely wrecked now, "and we'll never make it off this couch."

"I've kind of gotten used to this couch," Danny said into Steve's shoulder. "'S comfy."

"My bed is comfier."

Danny considered that for a moment. "But you don't have a TV," he said, even though he knew he'd have no problem sleeping in Steve's bed, ocean or not.

"Okay, I'll buy a TV, if that's what it takes. I'll move the one over there upstairs tonight if you want."

Danny raised his head to smile down at Steve. "Really? You'd do that?"

"After everything I've done, you think I wouldn't stoop to moving a TV just to get you into my bed?"

Danny frowned. "Wait, everything you've done? What have you done?"

Steve shook his head sadly. "I'll give you a list," he said, leaning up for a kiss. "Tomorrow."

"Tomorrow?"

"It'll be your reward for sleeping in a bed where you can hear the ocean."

"Okay now you're just fucking with me."

Steve's grin was filthy and made Danny wish he was 22 and had had a decent night's sleep lately. "Not yet," he said, "but there's condoms and lube in my room that we could make good use of when we wake up in the morning. In my bed. Upstairs."

"Fine," Danny said, trying to sound grumpy and look a little less eager than he actually was. He pushed himself off the couch and helped Steve up. "But," he said, looking at Steve seriously for a moment, "you're totally making me breakfast after."

"I can do that," Steve said softly.

"Okay. Bed it is, then."

***

Danny dropped Grace off at Rachel's, taking great care to avoid going inside. He didn't want Grace catching the tension he was sure would be obvious if Danny talked to Rachel, and he didn't need that particular aggravation either. He'd told her he was fighting for Grace to stay on the island by phone for a reason.

He picked up his phone to call Steve and tell him his decision, frowning at it when he realized he had a missed call and a voicemail. Steve's voice filled the car through the speakers, telling Danny he was going to Japan with Joe to finally find out what was going on, and that he'd call from Japan.

"Yeah, right," Danny muttered as he hung up, "like you called last time?"

But at least he'd called to say where he was going instead of leaving a note.

The missed call had only been half an hour ago, so he couldn't have left yet. Danny called him back. "So," Danny said when Steve answered, "I'm not going to find a letter waiting for me or anything when I get back to the office?"

Steve's laugh made Danny miss him already. "Hey, I called you and everything," Steve said. "What more do you want?"

"Oh so many things," Danny replied, dropping his voice lower. "How much time do you have? I'll give you a list."

There was a slight pause, then a door closed, and the background noise level dropped. "Not enough time, unfortunately," Steve said. "But I'll call you from Japan."

"Sure you will."

"I will. I promise."

Danny raised his eyebrows at the speaker as if Steve could see him. "Because your track record is so fabulous."

"I will call."

"Good," Danny said. "Because I might need someone to talk me off the ledge."

"Why?"

"I just told Rachel I wasn't letting her take Grace off the island without a fight."

He heard a catch in Steve's breath, followed by a moment of silence. "So you're staying?"

"I'm gonna do everything I can, yeah." Danny shifted in his seat. "It might get ugly," he said. "On both sides."  
He could tell Steve got the message behind those words. "I don't care. We'll deal with it."

"Yeah, well, get your ass back from Japan in a hurry so we can."

"I'll be back as soon as I can. I don't exactly know where we're going, but Joe's promised me answers, so...."

 _Not the first time_ , Danny thought, but he only said, "Watch your six, then." Because if Joe was taking him somewhere for answers about Shelburne, who the hell knew what kind of trouble might be following them.

"Again with the military lingo?" Steve teased.

"Roger that," Danny joked back. "And I'm going to start using more of it the longer you're gone."

Steve groaned. "I'll hurry back."

"You'd better."

Danny heard a door open and a muffled voice. "I've got to go," Steve said. "I'll call you from Japan."

"Okay. Be careful."

"You, too. Who knows what you might get yourself into without me there to watch your back?"

"You mean my six? Roger that. Over and out."

"Seriously, if you're trying to make me hurry back, it's working."

"Good. Don't wreck the plane this time, okay?"

He could hear Steve's eye roll. "Goodbye, Daniel."

"Goodbye, Steven."

***

Steve had been gone less than ten hours when all hell broke loose.

The first indicator was a phone call Danny received from Duke. There'd been a report of shots fired at Chin's and an ambulance was headed there for someone who'd been hit. Danny couldn't get Chin on the phone, so he went straight for Queen's, arriving at the ER just in time to see Chin racing along beside a stretcher. Danny caught a glimpse if Malia's pale, still face on the stretcher before she was whisked away through a set of doors, leaving Danny standing next to Chin.

Before Danny could ask what happened, there was another flurry of activity behind them, and they turned to see Adam Noshimuri rushing into the ER carrying Kono. Unlike Malia, she was at least moving, though not much.

Danny hurried over. "What happened?"  
Adam ignored him, barking at the first doctor who came by, something about Kono almost drowning--which made no sense to Danny, since she was part fish. A nurse brought a stretcher and wheeled Kono off, leaving Danny standing with Adam and Chin, both of them wearing similar expressions of helplessness as they stared at the "Authorized Personnel Only" signs on the closed doors in front of them.

"What the hell is going on?" Danny asked both of them, not really caring who spoke first as long as someone started talking.

"Kono wasn't home," Adam said. "We were supposed to meet, and she wasn't there, and I knew she'd been there waiting, so I tracked her phone. And it was in the water. I _knew_ something was wrong, so I flew out and followed the signal, and just as I was getting close, someone threw her in the water, tied up, and took off."

"Someone?" Danny prompted. "Who?"

"I didn't stop to ask for names," Adam said shortly. "I jumped in and pulled her up and we flew her as close to here as we could get. She'd swallowed a lot of water, and she couldn't really talk. She was out of it."

Danny ran a hand through his hair. "Okay. Can you remember anything about the boat? Is there anyone you can think of that might use her against you?"

"Actually," Chin spoke at last, "it wasn't Adam."

"What?" Danny and Adam said in unison.

"It was me." He shuddered a little. "Well, partly. Delano...he kidnapped Kono to get me to let him out of prison. Only when I got him out, he showed me Kono and Malia. Both held hostage, and only gave me time to save one of them." Chin turned pleading eyes on Danny. "What was I supposed to do? Kono's a cop, she was trained to handle herself. Malia had no way to protect herself and it was all my fault she was in danger."

Danny put a hand on Chin's shoulder. "It's not your fault, Chin. None of it is. You did what you had to do when an asshole put you in an impossible situation." Danny didn't even want to contemplate what would've happened if Rick had kidnapped Steve as well and forced him to choose. Steve might be indestructible, but even if he'd made it out--and Danny knew Steve wouldn't want him to make any other choice but Grace--Danny wouldn't want to be living with having to make it in the first place.

"Why was this guy using anyone against you in the first place?" Adam asked, sounding like Chin might be in trouble if he didn't have a really good answer.

"He was pissed at me for something that happened years ago," Chin said, glancing at Danny, but Danny wasn't following. "And Kono set him up and put him in jail, so he kidnapped her to get back at her as much as me."

Adam ignored that last part. "What was he pissed at you about?"

A nurse saved Chin from having to answer. "Mr. Noshimuri?" she said, looking at the three of them.

Adam stepped forward. "That's me."

"Miss Kalakaua is going to be okay. She's just having a little trouble breathing, but she's asking for you, and the doctor said it would be okay if you come back."

"Thank you."

Adam started to follow her, but Chin stopped the nurse. "Wait, is there any word on my wife? Dr. Waincroft," he clarified at the nurse's confused look. "She was brought in with a gunshot wound."

"I'm sorry, sir," she said. "I haven't heard anything. I'll see what I can find out."

The nurse led Adam through the doors, leaving Danny to put a hand on Chin's shoulder in sympathy. There was nothing else either of them could do until someone came with news.

***

They'd moved to the waiting room at least twenty minutes before the nurse came back to say that Dr. Waincroft was in surgery, and that the surgeon would be out to talk to them when it was done, but it could take hours. There was just no telling how long it might be.

Four hours and eight cups of horrible coffee later, Danny's phone buzzed in his pocket. He looked at the screen to find Steve's face smiling up at him. "Be right back," he said to Chin, already picking up the call as he walked out of the waiting room.

"Glad to see you figured out how to use a phone in Japan," Danny answered.

"Danny...."

That tone was never a good thing when Steve used it. "What's happened?"

"She's Shelburne."

When Steve didn't elaborate, Danny said, gently, "Who's Shelburne?"

The pause was so long that Danny was about to ask if Steve was still there when he replied, "My mom."

"Your mom?" Danny looked around, as if the secret was going to get out just on those two words. "What are you talking about?"

"It's a long story," Steve said, and Danny could hear a little of the shock falling away, being replaced by more emotions than Danny wanted to list. "But she's been in hiding. And now that Wo Fat's locked up, she felt it was safe for me to know."

If there was a family that deserved the majorly fucked up award more than the McGarretts, Danny didn't want to know about them. "So...how are you doing?"

"Honest to God, Danny, I don't even know." Steve's deep breath was audible over the phone. "I...she's alive, Danny. All these years...she's alive."

"Did you get to talk to her?"

"Yeah. I'll tell you more when I get home. I'm going to go talk to her some more, I just needed...I don't know."

 _A break. Perspective. A friend._ "I know. When are you coming home?"

"I'm on a flight tomorrow night, so I'll be in the day after. She's going to come in a couple of days if they say it's safe."

"They?"

"Wit Sec. Like I said...long story."

Danny went over and glanced into the waiting room, but Chin was still sitting there waiting. "Well, not to make things worse," he said, because he'd want to know if he were in Steve's shoes, "but I'm at the hospital."

"What? What happened? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine. Kono and Malia...not so much."

Steve inhaled sharply. "What?"

"Delano had them both kidnapped so Chin would help him escape. He shot Malia and tried to drown Kono."

"Are they...I mean, you're at the hospital, so they're obviously not okay."

"Kono's going to be fine. Malia's still in surgery."

"Shit."

Danny sighed. "Listen, I'll let you know if anything changes. You go deal with your...mom." The phrase felt weird. "Call me if you need anything."

"Call me if there's any news."

"I will. Don't worry about us, though. Take care of things there."

"Got it. Bye."

Danny put the phone back in his pocket and went to see how Chin was doing.

***

They had to wait another hour before someone came into the room and called Chin's name. Danny had tried not to think about Steve's situation--he wasn't even sure if he could say anything about it, and he had enough to deal with right in front of him without worrying about what was going on in Japan.

"Mr. Kelly," the doctor said when he'd pulled Chin out of the waiting room and into an alcove with no chairs, but a bit more privacy. "I'm so sorry, but your wife had lost a lot of blood, and we couldn't repair the damage in time. She didn't make it."

Danny put a hand on Chin's shoulder. He'd dealt with his share of death, but it was always different when it was someone you'd eaten with, someone you'd stood up for at their wedding. "I'm sorry," Danny said quietly, as Chin stood there looking lost.

"Can I see her?" Chin asked.

"Not yet," the doctor said. "Let us...give us a little time." The doctor took off his glasses. "Mr. Kelly, your wife was a fabulous doctor. I'm sorry for your loss, and for the loss to the community as well."

"Thank you," Chin said quietly.

The doctor walked away, and Danny patted Chin on the shoulder before dropping his hand. "Let's go wait over here," Danny said, leading Chin back to the waiting room.

"I should make some calls," Chin said.

"They can wait." Danny all but shoved him down into the chair, looking around, hoping someone would come help.

But who? Steve was in Japan with his...with his mother, which Danny still hadn't processed. Kono was in her own hospital bed being looked over by the head of the Yakuza, which Danny was refusing to process.

That left him to take care of things.

Danny sat down next to Chin. "Can I get you anything?" Danny asked.

"No. Thanks." Chin rested his elbows on his knees and put his head in his hands. He stayed that way until a nurse came to take him back to see Malia.

Danny thought about asking to see Kono so he could tell her about Malia. Then again, maybe Chin would rather tell her. Or would it be better for him not to have to tell her?

Before he could decide, his phone rang, Steve's face smiling up from the screen, and Danny answered it as fast as he could. "Hey," he said sagging back into the seat.

"What's wrong?"

"What?"

"I know that tone. What's wrong? Kono...?"

Danny swallowed hard. "No. Malia."

"Oh, man." Steve's sigh came across loud and clear. "How's Chin?"

"In shock, I think. They took him back to see her. I'm waiting to take him home when he's done. I don't really know what else to do."

"I'm sorry. I wish I was there."

Danny switched the phone from one ear to the other, leaning his head back against the wall. "You've got your own shit to deal with," he said, even though he wished Steve was there, too. "Don't worry about us."

"Right. And you don't worry about me, either."

Danny managed a soft laugh. "I see your point," he said. "How are things there?"

"Progressing," Steve said after a moment. "I'll explain--"

"When you get home, I know." Danny saw Chin walk back into the room, looking even more out of it than before. "I have to go," he said, standing. "Chin's back."

"Tell him I'm sorry," Steve said. "I'll call you later, but if you need anything before, call me."

Danny nodded, even though Steve couldn't see him. "I will. Thanks."

He ended the call and put the phone in his pocket as Chin approached. "You ready to go?" Danny asked.

"I need to see Kono," Chin said.

"Let's see if they'll let us in," Danny said, silently daring anyone to stop him as he led Chin over to the doors.

He saw a nurse he recognized and managed to talk her into taking them back to Kono's room. Adam was sitting by her bed, holding her hand, and Danny knew Chin was even more out of it than he seemed when he didn't even notice.

Kono looked up as Chin walked in, but her eyes were a little cool, as if she might be in shock herself. "How's Malia?" she asked. "Adam told me what happened."

"She's...she didn't make it." Chin's voice was the kind of hollow Danny could feel reverberating in his own chest. "I tried, but by the time I got home there was so much blood...they said they did everything they could."

"Hey." Kono held out a hand, waiting until Chin took it. "You went after her. You tried to save her. That's all you could do."

"It's my fault."

"It's not your fault. It's Delano's fault. Or the guy who shot her. But not yours." Kono shook Chin's hand a little until he looked her in the eye. "You hear me?"

After a moment, he nodded. "I hear you."

"Okay. Then Danny's going to take you back to Steve's and you're going to get some sleep. I'll see you in the morning after they let me out of this place."

Chin nodded, and Danny noticed he actually squeezed Kono's hand this time before letting it go. "I'm glad you're okay," Chin said.

"You know me," Kono said, managing a faint attempt at her usual cocky smile. "I'm indestructible."

"Clearly your meds are too high," Danny teased. "You're developing a McGarrett complex." He leaned down and gave her a kiss on the forehead, sparing a glare for Noshimuri in case he wanted to make something of it, but he just looked at Danny placidly, still holding Kono's hand through it all. "Take care of her," Danny said. He still wasn't crazy about the guy, but at least he clearly had Kono's back.

"That's what I've been doing all night."

Danny nodded and led a silent, composed Chin out of the ER to the car, wondering when he was going to break.


	2. Chapter 2

Two days later, Danny was starting to hope for Chin to break. Chin had agreed to stay in McGarrett's guest room the first night, but then he'd insisted on going back home the next day. Danny had spent a lot of time at Chin's, watching as Chin made funeral arrangements, talked to friends and family, calmly and politely accepting condolences as if nothing had really happened.

Chin Ho Kelly might be unflappable, but this was delving into the realm of inhuman.

Danny left Chin's house after lunch to head to the airport. Steve was due in soon, and Danny could honestly say he'd never been happier to see him than he knew he'd be today. Apart from worrying about how Steve was handling his mother's return from the grave, he was a little hopeful that Steve might have some insight into how Chin was reacting. Or not reacting, to be more exact.

A flash of his badge meant Danny was waiting at the gate as Steve came through the door from the jetway. The way Steve's face lit up with a smile at seeing Danny settled something in Danny's gut that hadn't been quite right since Steve had left, and Danny moved forward to meet Steve halfway, giving him a hug.

"Glad to see you came in on the plane you started off on this time," Danny said into Steve's neck.

He felt Steve's huff of laughter. "Definitely easier on the nerves," Steve agreed.

"Yours or mine?"

Steve laughed again as he pulled out of the hug to smile down at Danny. "Yours, of course. I have nerves of steel."

"Or something," Danny muttered, shaking his head. He eyed Steve critically for a moment, taking in the faint blue smudges under his eyes and how the subtle lines in his face seemed a little more deeply set. "Couldn't sleep on the flight?"

"I don't think I've slept much since I left," Steve admitted, and he must be tired if he was actually confessing to it. "It was...complicated," he added, looking around.

And probably something he didn't want anyone else overhearing, especially since the rest of the world still thought his mother was dead. "Come on," Danny said, tugging on Steve's arm and heading for the exit. "Let's get you home."

"How's Chin?" Steve asked as they stepped out onto the open walkway from the gates to the terminal.

"He says he's fine."

"And is he?"

Danny took a deep breath. "He's acting fine," he said, turning his head to meet Steve's gaze. "Making arrangements, dealing with family and friends, all very calm and civil."

"People deal with grief in different ways," Steve said. "Maybe this is his."

And some people never really deal with it at all. Danny wondered if Steve ever had, if even putting Hesse and Wo Fat away had been enough, or if it was all bottled down inside ready to come out one day when least expected. "Maybe," Danny replied. "But pressure cookers exist for a reason."

"He's a person, Danny, not a pot."

"The principle isn't that far off."

The Camaro was waiting for them in the lane just outside the exit from the terminal, and Danny nodded to the security agent nearby, a silent thanks for not bothering with the car after Danny had mentioned 5-0. He'd been running a little late, and he'd really wanted to be standing there waiting when Steve deplaned.

He thought about letting Steve drive, just to be nice, but one more look at his face, and Danny went around to the driver's side, leaving Steve to drop into the passenger seat.

"I'm gone a few days so I can't drive the car?" Steve asked when Danny had closed his door.

"No, you look like you're going to nod off any second, so you can't drive the car."

"Fair enough," Steve said, leaning his head against the window. His eyes stayed open, though, staring out at the scenery, or what there was of it near the airport.

Danny navigated his way out onto Nimitz before breaking the silence. "Malia's funeral is on Tuesday."

Steve turned his head to blink at Danny. "That's still a few days away. I would've expected it tomorrow."

"They're waiting for some family from the mainland."

"Makes sense," Steve said, leaning his head on the window again and closing his eyes this time.

Hoping he'd sleep, Danny kept his silence and focused on the traffic from the early part of rush hour until they made it to Steve's house.

***

Steve didn't move when Danny stopped the car. When Danny wrapped a hand around Steve's bicep, though, he shifted, smiling and looking more alert than Danny thought he should, given they hadn't even been in the car an hour. "We're home." Steve's smile grew. "What?" Danny asked.

"Nothing." But the smile stayed as Steve got out of the car.

Danny opened the door, expecting Steve to go straight for the stairs and pass out. He didn't, though, instead dropping his bag by the stairs and walking through to the dining room to stare out at the ocean.

His shoulders were tense as Danny joined him at the French doors. "So," Danny ventured after a moment, "you wanna talk about it?"

"I'm not even sure where to start," Steve said, eyes firmly fixed on the sea.

"Maybe at the beginning?"

Steve took a deep breath. "Joe took me to this village--I was there, actually, when I was looking for Shel--for her. Just missed them, apparently. He told me to go into this house, and then he left. And I knocked, and she just opened the door. Just like that." The slight crack in his voice made Danny's heart hurt. "Like it was no big deal."

"So what did she say?"

He wasn't expecting the slightly bitter laugh. "Mostly it was 'classified, can't tell you this and that, secret,' you name it." He glanced at Danny. "I guess now I know how you feel every time I answer with that."

The trace of amusement was promising, but Steve was still a long way from okay. "It's not quite the same thing," Danny said. "Did she give you anything?"

"She witnessed something," Steve said. "Her life was in danger, and no one could know she was alive or we were all in danger. So she left." He turned his head to look at Danny, eyes searching. "She just left. Let me and Mary think she was dead."

_Him and Mary?_ Danny was almost afraid to ask. "Did your dad know?"

"He found out," Steve said shortly. "Not long after. That's why his investigation took over his life. It's why he sent us away. He had to investigate carefully, and he couldn't let on he knew, or we were all in danger."

Danny couldn't even imagine being in Steve's shoes. "So all those years, he knew she was alive and he couldn't contact her?"

"He talked to her once," Steve said. "When she told him to back off, or Mary and I would end up paying the price. And he never saw her again, and he never told us." Steve turned away from the door, leaning back against it. "Why?" he asked, looking at Danny as if he had answers. "Why do people keep secrets like this? It always blows up and the people you're trying to protect get hurt anyway, so what's the point?"

It wasn't the time to point out Steve had done his share of secretive things, especially not when the phone number Danny was still carrying in his pocket felt as if it was practically burning a hole through his wallet. "Because it's in our nature to try to protect the ones we love, and there's nothing rational about love," he said, only able to give his own reasons for keeping secrets. "In the end we're all human," he added, poking a finger at Steve. "Even you...all evidence to the contrary aside."

Steve's smile was a little wobbly, but it stayed. "I missed you," he said softly.

"Me, too."

"I missed my bed," Steve said, pushing off the door and grabbing Danny by the hand, pulling him into the living room.

"Naptime?" Danny asked, as Steve led him to the stairs.

"I said I missed my bed," Steve replied. "Particularly with you in it," he added. "But I didn't say anything about sleep."

Danny grinned, turning Steve around and pushing him up the stairs.

***

Danny woke a couple of hours later to find the bed empty. He could hear the shower running, so he clawed his way out from under the covers and padded naked into the bathroom just as Steve turned off the water.

"I thought you'd be passed out for hours," Danny said as Steve pulled back the curtain.

"Couldn't sleep." Steve leaned in for a kiss as he reached for a towel.

Danny wasn't particularly surprised--he wouldn't be able to sleep either if he'd been through everything Steve had. "Apparently I'm losing my touch," Danny said lightly, "if I couldn't wear you out."

"Trust me," Steve replied, pressing himself against Danny for another kiss, "you're not losing your touch." One more kiss, and then he moved away. "I haven't really eaten since we left Japan, and I didn't eat a lot there, so I'm starving. My stomach finally got insistent."

"I'm not sure how much food there is in the house."

"I ordered pizza," Steve said. "Right before I got into the shower." He snapped the towel at Danny. "Hurry up and shower and I might leave you a slice. If you're good."

Danny smirked. "I'll let you be the judge of how good I am."

"In that case...I'll keep half the pizza for you." Steve stole one more quick kiss. "Hurry up."

He left, and Danny hopped into the shower, turning on the water and standing under the hot spray. He had to tell Steve about the phone number now that it was no longer a threat. He just didn't know how, especially given everything Steve had said about secrets. But he had to tell him.

He was no closer to an answer to how to break the news when he turned off the water. He dried himself as he walked into the bedroom, grabbing a pair of jeans he'd left on a chair days ago. He heard the door as he was pulling on a t-shirt, which meant the pizza must've arrived. Shoving his wet hair back with his hands, he hurried down the stairs, his stomach registering its excitement at the thought of food.

Steve was standing in the living room, the pizzas on the coffee table, his wallet in his hand. "What's wrong?" Danny said, registering the look on Steve's face. When he didn't answer right away, Danny moved close enough to put a hand on Steve's shoulder. "Hey, what's wrong?"

Steve held his wallet out, a slip of paper on top of it. No, Danny realized, recognizing the folded leather. Not Steve's wallet. It was Danny's.

And the paper held the number Joe had given him months before.

"I didn't have any cash," Steve said, his voice hoarse. "So I grabbed your wallet, and when I was paying the pizza guy, that fell out."

"Steve..."

"That's my mother's phone number, Danny. I know it. She gave it to me before I left Japan. What the hell's going on?"

Danny took a deep breath. "Let's sit down and talk, okay?"

"No. Tell me why the hell my mother's phone number is in your wallet--and looks like it's been there for some time."

"Steve, look, it's--"

"I swear to God, Danny, you say it's complicated and I'll punch you."

Danny held his hands up, taking a step back. "Before he left," Danny said carefully, eyes glued to Steve's face, watching every single microexpression, "Joe gave me that number and said if anything happened to you or to him, I was supposed to call it."

"Before we left for Japan?"

The temptation to lie had rarely been this strong. But he couldn't. "No, uh...he gave it to me the day of Chin's bachelor party."

Every single muscle on Steve's face froze. "You've had my mother's number for six months," he said slowly, "and you didn't tell me?"

"No!" Danny put a hand on Steve's arm. "I didn't know what it was, I swear! If I'd known that, if I'd known she was alive, I would've told you," Danny said, the words coming out in a rush. "All I knew was that it was an emergency number. I think now that he only gave it to me because he was afraid something might happen to him and she wouldn't know. That she couldn't do anything if he wasn't there to tell her." Danny's hand gripped a little tighter. "All I knew was it was a number in case there was trouble."

"But why didn't you tell me?"

"Because he more or less left me with the feeling that you knowing that number would end with at least you, and possibly all of us, dead. Or worse." Danny's gaze was steady on Steve's. "What would you have done in my position. Can you honestly say that in my shoes you'd have told me?"

Steve closed his eyes, his throat working as he swallowed hard. "After all the secrecy in my family and the fallout?" he answered after a moment, opening his eyes again. "Yeah, I'd have told you, because I know what secrets cost."

"Oh really?" Danny dropped his hand to his side. "So the person doling out secrets like they were gold nuggets about the Champ box when we first met, that was someone else?"

"We barely knew each other, Danny, it's not like it is now, not--"

"Oh, okay, then," Danny said, arms out wide, "how about the guy who ran off God only knew _where_ to chase after Shelburne and left me a letter not even _hinting_ at where he was going. That wasn't you?"

Steve leaned in, every muscle in his face and neck taut. "Hey, here's a thought--if you had told me you had the key to everything in your pocket for six months, I wouldn't have _had_ to run off looking for answers!"

"I told you, I didn't _know_ what it was! What, am I _psychic_ now? All I knew was that it was only to be used in emergency, and that if _you_ had it, there was a good chance Wo Fat would use it against you."

"How exactly was he supposed to do that?" Steve demanded.

Danny balled his hands into fists to avoid reaching out and shaking Steve. "Joe gave me that number when I was having nightmares about North Korea ending a _hell_ of a lot worse than it did," Danny said, his voice low and intense. "Hell, who am I kidding, I _still_ have those nightmares."

"I don't see what that has to do with--"

"You don't? Let me enlighten you, Steven. The only thing that was likely to keep you alive was that you didn't know anything."

"Really? Do you know how much of an insult it is that you think I would break under torture?"

"You do know that torture is not the only means of extracting information, right?" Danny asked, not for the first time. "Because all evidence to the contrary, you must've heard that they have a whole bunch of drugs that will make you talk, whether you want to or not. And if Wo Fat had managed to capture you again, he might've drugged you for info. As long as you had no solid leads on Shelburne, he might've kept at it, but there was still a chance he would keep you alive long enough for us to find you. If you had something to give him..."

He moved in closer, but didn't touch Steve. "I don't ever want to walk into a room and find you lying on the floor, dead," Danny said, his voice low and intense. "So I did as Joe asked and I didn't tell you about the number. But I _swear_ to you, Steven, if I had known what it really was, if I'd known your mother was at the other end, I'd have _shattered_ the speed limit to get it to you the second he gave it to me, and to hell with the consequences."

Steve looked at him for a long moment, eyes red and suspiciously wet. Danny reached out, but at the movement, Steve shook his head, turned on his heel, and all but ran out of the house.

Danny listened as the door slammed, and as Steve's truck started and took off like a bat out of hell, until the sound was gone and he was left with nothing but quiet and the ocean.

***

Danny walked into HQ rubbing at his eyes, wincing as it felt like half of Queen's Beach had deposited itself in them. After it had become apparent Steve wasn't coming back, Danny had gone out looking for him, but no luck. His phone was turned off, and he wasn't at any of his usual spots, so clearly he hadn't wanted to be found.

Uncertain if he was even welcome at Steve's, Danny had gone back to his apartment, but sleep hadn't come. He'd waited until it was light before giving up and trusting a long shower and about a gallon of coffee to keep him from falling asleep on the way in.

No one else was in yet, so he sat down at his desk and tried to distract himself with paperwork and more coffee. He'd managed to fill out maybe one form in an hour when Kono knocked on his door. "Hey, Danny--wow, you look like shit."

"Thanks a lot."

"Guess you welcomed Steve home in style?" Something in his face must've clued her in, because her teasing grin gave way to a frown. "What's wrong?"

Danny shook his head. Even if he could tell her, he didn't want to discuss it. "Long story. How's Chin?" He'd had to stop asking her how she was since she'd threatened to kick his ass the day after the whole mess, but asking after Chin was still allowed.

Her frown deepened. "The same. He's 'fine'--as he'll tell anyone who asks."

"You think he's really gonna be okay?"

"He's been through a lot and made it," she said. "I have to believe he'll get through this, too." She leaned against the doorjamb. "He actually said he'd be in today. Wanted to get back to work."

"Is that a good idea?"

Kono shrugged. "At least here we can keep an eye on him."

"He could wait until after the funeral."

"I think he doesn't want to spend all day thinking about the funeral."

"Fair enough," Danny said. He imagined sitting at Steve's if all the things he'd been fearing had come to pass, surrounded by memories of someone he'd never see again, feeling that loss every second. "I can't say I blame him."

He heard boots coming down the hall and tensed, even as he wondered how sad it was he knew the sound of Steve's footsteps. "Hey, boss man," Kono said, but Steve just grunted at her and went into his office without even looking at Danny.

Kono narrowed her eyes as she turned back to study Danny. "Something you wanna talk about?"

"Believe me when I say talking about it is the last thing on my list of wants today." At least not with someone other than Steve. He'd give anything to get Steve to talk to him reasonably.

"Okay. I'll be in my office. Just warn me if you think there's about to be a gunfight between the two of you."

She ducked out of the way before Danny could hit her with the Nerf ball on his desk. It bounced against the wall by the door and rolled back towards his desk, but he left it there. He didn't have the energy to get up from his chair and go get it.

He'd just gone back to his paperwork when he heard softer footsteps and looked up in time to see Chin walking by. Danny pushed himself out of his seat and headed for the bull pen, catching up with Chin as he was turning on the computer table. "How's it going?" Danny asked.

"I'm good," Chin said. And it wasn't that he sounded sad, or even had that forced happiness that some people adopt when they're trying to be stoic. It was more that his voice had no expression at all. Like a poorly-designed robot trying to imitate humanity.

The reminder that he didn't have to be here died on Danny's lips. He was more afraid of sending him home like this. "If you're looking for something to do," Danny said, "I've got a pile of paperwork."

"I'll come get some from you once I'm done running this diagnostic."

No argument about the paperwork. Bad sign. "I'm holding you to that," Danny said, turning around to go towards his office. He could just see Steve's head bent over his desk, as if he looked up and even accidentally caught Danny's eye, it might be the end of the world.

This was ridiculous. Chin was out there so lost in grief over the love of his life that it was like his whole personality was buried, and Steve was wasting time they could have together being pissed off about something that Danny had had perfect reasoning for.

Life was too short for this shit, especially with their life expectancy.

He marched away from his office and into Steve's. "I left you a few voicemails," Danny said, standing in the doorway to make it harder for Steve to escape.

"I know." Steve kept right on looking at the folder lying open on his desk.

"Common courtesy would've been to reply."

That got Steve to look up, his eyes as red from lack of sleep as Danny's had been when he'd looked in the mirror. "Do you really want to have a discussion about common courtesy right now?'

"If it'll help clear the air and get us past this?" Danny said. "Sure."

"Not here."

"Steve--"

"We're _not_ doing this here."

"You can't--"

The door opened behind Danny, and he turned around to see Kono standing there, mobile phone in her hand halfway to her ear, as if she'd forgotten it was there. "Wo Fat's escaped," she said.

"What?" Steve said sharply, jumping up to join them by the door. "How?"

"Don't know," Kono said. "He was there for lights out, but this morning when they did roll call, he was just gone."

Danny met Steve's gaze, not surprised by the combination of anger and fear he saw there. Danny put a hand on his arm. "You need to call--"

"I know," Steve said, pulling free. "Can you--" he waved in the direction of the door, and Danny nodded, ushering Kono out of the office and into the bullpen.

"What was that all about?" she asked.

Danny shook his head. "Nothing," he said, hating to lie to her, but he didn't have a lot of choice. It was safer for everyone. Plus, it wasn't really his secret to tell.

Chin was already pulling up camera recordings from the prison to look for any hint of evidence when Steve came into the room. Danny raised his eyebrows at him, wondering if he'd gotten the news to his mother, and Steve just nodded before going back to not looking at Danny as much as possible.

They'd gone through footage for maybe half an hour when Danny's phone rang, a cone of cherry shave ice on the screen, courtesy of Grace. "Kamekona," he answered. "What's up?"

"Hey, Danny," Kamekona said, his voice a near whisper. "Listen, you didn't hear this from me, right? But I might've heard somewhere that somebody helped a certain bad guy out of his cell last night."

"Name, Kamekona. Now."

"Like I said, you didn't hear it from me. But if you went to Wopo's and asked Hekili Kanaka about it, he might be able to tell you more. You might have to convince him to talk, but he's definitely got somethin' to say."

"Remind me to buy extra shrimp next time I'm at your truck," Danny said. "Let me know if you hear anything else."

He hung up, pocketing his phone and relaying Kamekona's message to the team. "Wopo's?" Steve said, already on his way out the door.

"Hang on a minute," Danny said, going after him. He reached into his pocket, but his keys weren't there, and he remembered throwing them on the desk in frustration when he'd gotten in. He ducked into his office to grab them and jogged for the parking lot, getting out of the building just in time to see Steve pulling away in his truck.

"Son of a _bitch_."

***

The Camaro had more speed and maneuverability than Steve's truck, but the truck had the advantage of Evil Kenevil McGarrett at the wheel. By the time Danny made it to Wopo's, Chin and Kono right on his heels, Steve's truck was parked outside, and from the way people were running out the door, Steve was inside.

The scene in the bar was eerily reminiscent of the first day he'd met Steve. A guy, about six feet tall, long black hair in a ponytail, surly look on his face, who Danny assumed was Kanaka, was holding a gun on a woman, his arm firmly around her waist. Steve had his gun trained on Kanaka, but Danny could tell he was about to give up.

As Steve started to lower his gun, Danny snuck in behind Kanaka, wrenched the gun out of his hand and hit him on the back of the head, watching him crumple to the ground, groaning. The woman scampered free, but Danny's attention stayed on the guy he'd taken out. "Kanaka?" he asked, looking at Steve, who'd joined them.

Steve nodded. "Get him back to HQ," he said, holstering his gun. "I want to have a few words with him."

He turned and walked off before Danny could respond. A moment later, as he was dragging Kanaka to his feet, Danny heard the truck start up and take off.

***

"Okay, you have two options," Steve said, towering over Kanaka, whose hands were cuffed behind the chair. "You can talk, or I can make the rest of your short life very unpleasant."

"I'd talk," Danny said from a few steps away.

Steve shot him a brief look, the harsh lighting of the interrogation room heightening the dark circles under his eyes. "Where's Wo Fat?" Steve asked Kanaka.

"I don't know."

"How'd he escape?"

"I don't know."

Steve leaned in, and Danny knew that smile. That was the killer shark smile that always had Danny worried that he'd end up in court saying 'Yes, your honor, that was a totally justified shooting.'

"You _do_ know," Steve said in that deadly tone that had Danny stepping a little closer in case he needed to intervene. "And you're going to tell me right now, or my next call is going to be to someone who can make sure the Yakuza know how you helped Wo Fat right out of prison just to spite them."

Steve leaned in more until his nose was maybe an inch from Kanaka's. "What do you think the Yakuza's going to do to your friends and family when they hear that?"

The guy looked at Danny who just folded his arms over his chest and gave him a blank look in return. "You can't do that. You're cops."

"Funny how they always say that," Steve said, slanting Danny a cold grin. "And they always regret it," he added, looking back at Kanaka. "I can give you a list of references to back that up, if you think I'm bluffing," he said. "But by the time you call them it'll be too late."

Kanaka looked at Steve for a long moment, uncertainty crumbling into defeat. "Delano," he said finally. "I owed Delano a favor. He said I help get Wo Fat out, we're even."

"Where are they?"

"I dropped Wo Fat at 1325 Prospect," he said. "Don't know if they're still there, but there's a number on my phone from the phone Delano was using."

"Smart decision," Steve said, collecting Danny with a look on his way out of the room.

***

At the mention of Delano, Chin's face tightened in the first show of emotion Danny's seen from him since the night Malia died. "We can be there in five minutes," Chin said, hand on his gun, once Kono had confirmed that the cell phone Kanaka had called seemed to be at that address.

"Hang on," Danny said, because someone had to be the voice of reason. "We need backup."

"Every second we talk about this they could be getting away," Steve said, turning to go, but Danny grabbed his arm.

"I know that, but if they're getting away when we're on the way, we need more cops to be able to cover more ground. And if they're still there, we need all the exits covered. Do you want to do this in a hurry and lose them? Or do you want to do it right?"

Steve's nostrils flared as he glared at Danny for a moment. "Fine. Call HPD on the way to the car."

HPD was already dispatching officers by the time they stopped at the cars to suit up. "Did you tell them not to move in until we're there?" Steve asked.

"Yes. And not to be seen, etc. etc. I have done this before."

Steve frowned at him, but he didn't say anything. He started for the truck, but Danny said, "Wait," and tossed him the keys to the Camaro. "It's faster."

After a second, Steve nodded and slipped into the driver's seat. As soon as Danny was in, they took off, Kono and Chin close behind. They stopped at the cluster of police cruisers a couple of blocks from the house, finding Duke at the center of the officers waiting for instructions.

"Danny and I will take the front door," Steve said. "Kono and Chin will take the back. I need your men stationed around the house in case they get by us, and cruisers on every corner in case they get to a car. Got it?"

Duke nodded and began doling out instructions. When everyone was in position, Steve looked at Danny, then Kono and Chin. "Let's go."

***

The first thought Danny had when they broke down the door and saw Delano and Wo Fat with half a dozen men is that it was far too easy.

Considering that the next thought he had was from the floor, staring at a sofa he'd managed to throw himself behind in the middle of a hail of automatic weapons fire, he might have revised that opinion.

Steve was leaning out around the sofa, shooting. "Cover me," he said to Danny, giving him just enough time to get around the other side of the sofa and start shooting before he ran through the room into another room beyond it.

Danny looked around and saw Wo Fat and Delano had both disappeared. "Fuck this," he said, staying out of cover far too long, but managing to kill all three men still shooting at him without getting harmed in the end.

He ran in the same direction he'd seen Steve go, finding him standing in a kitchen, his gun trained on the floor. When Danny went around the table, he saw Wo Fat on his back, hands up, Steve's booted foot on his chest.

"Give me one good reason I shouldn't kill you," Steve said as Danny approached.

"There isn't one," Wo Fat said, his voice every bit as calm as Steve's had been. "But you will not do it."

"You think?" Steve's bitter laugh had Danny's stomach tightening. "You don't know me."

"Oh, but I do, McGarrett," Wo Fat said. "You are many things, but you are not a cold blooded killer."

Steve huffed out another harsh laugh. "I think I could make an exception. Just this once."

"Steve," Danny said quietly.

Danny never stopped looking at Wo Fat. "Book him," he said, flatly, moving his foot off Wo Fat's chest, but keeping his gun trained on him while Danny cuffed him.

Kono appeared as Danny handed Wo Fat over to Steve, who said he was personally escorting him back to prison as soon as the transport arrived. "Where's Chin?" he asked.

"He was in first," she said, frowning. "I had a couple of guys to deal with, but I saw him go in the back door."

Danny listened, but he didn't hear anything upstairs. He'd passed a basement door on the way into the kitchen though. If Chin had followed Delano down there...he didn't want to think about what he might find.

"Let me handle it," he said to Kono, who had taken two steps towards the basement before he stopped her. "You, Delano and Chin together? It won't help."

She looked as if she might argue for a second, then she nodded and went to help Steve.

Danny went for the basement door, hurrying down the steps. As soon as he turned the corner, he saw Chin kneeling over a bloody and beaten Delano. He looked as if he'd fallen down the stairs, but his injuries and the blood on Chin's fists also showed there'd been more than just the fall.

Chin wasn't beating him now, though. He was holding his gun point blank to Delano's chest. "I should shoot you," he said, and all the emotion Danny had been waiting to hear for days was there. "Just like Malia, right here," he said, pressing the gun in hard, making Delano hiss from what Danny guessed were broken ribs, "and let you lie there and bleed to death. It still wouldn't be punishment enough for what you've done, but I should do it anyway."

Delano's laugh was raspy, and Danny added punctured lung to his diagnosis. "Go ahead. Do it. That's what dirty cops do, right?"

Chin pressed the gun in even harder, and Delano grunted. "Nobody would think I was dirty. I shot a dirty cop running from the law, and he fell down the stairs. I even have a witness," he said, nodding at Danny.

_At least he's noticed I'm here_. He thought that might be a little encouraging, because while he'd been fairly certain Steve wouldn't shoot Wo Fat, he was just about as certain that Chin was seriously considering shooting Delano. But if he knew Danny was there, then maybe he was just twisting the knife.

Danny saw the amusement fade from Delano's eyes, saw the moment when Delano was sure Chin was going to kill him, before he stepped in. "Let me get that for you," he said to Chin, gently pushing Chin's gun away before rolling Delano over none too gently. He grabbed Chin's cuffs and locked Delano's hands tightly behind him, no hint of gentleness.

"Stay," he said to Delano, as if he was in any condition to go anywhere, even if he wasn't handcuffed. He led Chin over to the steps and up, stopping in the hallway just outside the basement entrance. "You okay?" Danny asked.

Chin appeared to seriously consider the question. "No," he said finally. "But I will be. Malia would want me to be."

Danny smiled and clapped Chin on the shoulder, leading him into the kitchen to get some officers to deal with Delano.

***

Shadows were creeping up on the ocean behind Steve's house when Danny heard Steve's truck pull in and stop around front. Danny heard the front door open and close, which was progress--at least Steve hadn't taken off upon seeing the Camaro. He wondered, though, if Steve would actually come out back, or if he'd make Danny come find him.

Footsteps on the lanai answered that question, and Danny turned to see Steve slowly making his way down to the chairs by the water. "Wo Fat safely back in his cell?" Danny asked.

Steve nodded as he sat down. "I don't like leaving him there," he said. "He needs to be somewhere he doesn't have connections so he doesn't get out again."

"Are you sure there's a place he can't get out of?"

"There has to be, or...." Steve shook his head. "It's going to be a long road, waiting for him to go to trial, the trial itself, and hoping he rots in jail after."

"I'm sure there are some countries with less-than-friendly views on murderers who are dying to extradite him," Danny said.

Steve shrugged. "There are just so many ways he can get out," he said, rubbing his eyes tiredly. "Mom's not coming here," he said after a moment. "Not after his escape. It's not safe for anyone else to know she's alive yet."

"I'm sorry," Danny said, wanting to reach out and comfort Steve, but not sure if he should, given everything that still lay between them. "And I'm sorry about the phone number. I should know by now that trying to protect the people you love by keeping things from them, even with the best of intentions, never seems to end well. It's just so hard to fight that instinct."

"So you're going to do it again, is that what you're saying?"

It's obvious from Steve's tone that he's all but looking for a fight, but they can't not talk about this. "That's not what I'm saying."

"So you won't ever do it again?"

"I didn't say that either," Danny replied, clinging to the edge of his temper. "Can you honestly promise that?"

He knew it was the wrong thing to say, but he couldn't help it. Steve straightened, blank mission face taking over. "I'm not the one who kept quiet about a vital piece of information that could've gotten my mother back six months ago."

"No, I'm the one who kept a piece of information I thought would get you killed if you knew it. Information that might have gotten your mother killed if it had gotten out before Wo Fat was in jail, have you thought of that?"

"It doesn't matter, it wasn't your information to keep!"

"You know what?" Danny stood up, looming over Steve. "You're right. It wasn't my information to keep. Joe gave it to me, and I thought it was just his failsafe. I don't know how many other ways I can tell you that I thought it would cost multiple lives if I gave you that number, based on what your buddy, Joe, said. What would you have done in my shoes?"

Danny knew what Steve would've done. He would've kept the info quiet. Not that he'd admit it. "I'd have told you."

"Bullshit," Danny said. "Maybe, possibly after this, you might have learned a lesson and you might share, but really? You'd have told me? I don't think so. Because 'Don't ask, I won't tell' is pretty much your whole _life_!"

Steve pushed to his feet, and Danny lost his height advantage. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"You've made a life out of keeping everything quiet! I'm supposed to believe that you'd just suddenly start sharing information without having it dragged out of you?" Danny stepped closer. "The only thing that gave me any hope that you'd still be alive when we got to North Korea," he said, his voice dark, "was that I knew Wo Fat would have to practically kill you before you'd give up so much as your favorite color. So we had a little time to find you."

"Then you should've known it was safe to give me that number!"

"Were you not even listening when I was talking last night about drugs? He knew by then you weren't going to talk if he tortured you. The guy's an asshole, but he's not an idiot. If he'd tried it again, he'd have had every drug known to mankind on hand. And before we could find you again, you'd be dead."

Steve opened his mouth, then closed it again, running a hand through his hair. "I can't do this right now," he said, turning on his heel, darting around the chair, and storming off into the house. Before Danny could even process enough to follow, he heard the front door slam and the truck start up a second before he heard it zoom off down the street.

Danny dropped back down into his chair and put his head in his hands, growling into his palms. He'd give Steve an hour to calm down, then he'd start tracking him down.

He didn't care if he had to put out an APB to find Steve. They were finishing this tonight.

***

Three hours later, Danny was almost ready to actually put out that APB. Steve had shut off his phone again, and no one had seen or heard of him. The GPS on his truck showed it was stationary, sitting at a bar, but Danny had talked to the bartender over an hour ago, and Steve had left before then.

He was debating between calling cab companies and just calling HPD for a BOLO when his phone rang. The screen showed HPD, and Danny picked it up quickly.

"Detective Williams?"

"Yeah, Duke, what's up?"

"We got a call from Punchbowl Cemetery about a drunk guy trespassing in the cemetery after dark. Uniforms got there, and it's Commander McGarrett, so they thought maybe you'd like to handle it?"

Shit. "Yeah, I got it. Thanks Duke, I owe you one." Even if the uniforms were probably just afraid to cross Steve, and that's why they didn't want to deal with it.

"One?" He sounded more tolerant than annoyed, though, which was why Danny suspected the rest of HPD kept making Duke have to deal with 5-0.

"Or fifty. Thanks."

"No problem."

Danny hung up and pocketed his phone, pulling out his keys and heading for his car.

***

A cruiser was at the entrance to the cemetery when Danny arrived, one officer watching the road, the other watching the cemetery. Danny recognized the cop watching the road. "Hey, Kelekolio, how's it going?"

"Not bad, Detective. Yourself?"

"Oh, you know, the same as usual," Danny replied, nodding towards the cemetery. He could just make out a shadow around what he was going to guess was John McGarrett's grave. "Thanks for calling instead of arresting him."

Kelekolio shrugged. "We heard about this afternoon. Rough day."

"Yup." Danny shook the man's hand. "You guys can go on. I've got this."

They said goodnight and Danny waited until their tail lights had disappeared before sighing and making his way up the hill. He had to turn on the flashlight on his phone just to keep from tripping over graves as he picked his way through the cemetery until he could fully make out Steve, huddled over a grave.

He was talking, and at first Danny thought it was to the grave, but then he realized Steve had his phone to his ear. Danny heard mumbling at first, then, more distinctively, if a little slurred, "...but I don't understand why."

After a moment, Steve said, "But you didn't have to keep it from us." Another pause. "Not when we were older. It was just easier for you, admit it."

Whatever the person on the other end--Danny's guesses were his mom or Joe, in that order--was saying made Steve push up off the ground, swaying on his feet. "No, it's not. And you--" he stopped, whirling around and almost falling over as he saw Danny. "I have to go."

Steve hung up without another word and went to jam his phone in his pocket but missed, the phone falling to the ground. He didn't seem to notice. "What are you doing here?" Steve asked.

"I," Danny said, closing the little distance left between them, "am here because I am a police officer, and I was called here for a drunk person trespassing in the cemetery after dark." He reached down and picked up Steve's phone, putting it in Steve's pocket for him this time. "What are you doing here?"

Steve's angry face crumbled, and Danny wanted to hug the teenager he saw break through for a brief moment. "Looking for answers," Steve replies finally.

"Well I hate to tell you this, babe, but you're not going to find a more close-mouthed place than this." Danny spread his arms wide. "There's a reason they talk about taking secrets to the grave."

"Dad was certainly an expert in that," Steve said, looking down at his father's gravestone. "You know the really sad thing?" he said slowly. "I've probably got more of a chance of getting answers out of that concrete stone than I did out of him when he was alive."

"Hey." Danny put his hand on Steve's arm, encouraged when he didn't pull away. "He was trying to protect you. And Mary. And your mom."

Steve's small huff of laughter held no humor. "Sure he was. So much so that he never stopped lying to us. And she kept it up," Steve said, patting his phone. So, he had been talking to his mother, then. "She said it was for our own good, and that she didn't want us suffering for their sins."

His bewildered face just about broke Danny's heart. "Why do people lie and then say it's to protect someone? Lies always end up doing nothing but hurting people, and yet everybody just keeps lying. All the time."

"Yes," Danny agreed, "everyone lies. 'No, honey, that dress doesn't make you look fat. I never think about anyone else when we're having sex. Yes, I love your eggs, they're wonderful!' It's what you do to protect people."

He slid his hand down Steve's arm to twine his fingers with Steve's, trying to provide some comfort. "I'm not saying it's right, or it's fair, but it's human instinct to protect the people you love. You run off to handle things by yourself to try to protect everyone else and I sit on things when I think they're dangerous. How is that different?"

"Because it is."

"That's a stupid answer." Danny squeezes Steve's hand to take the sting out of the comment. "How many times have you kept things from all of us 'for our own safety'?"

At Steve's guilty look, Danny said, "Exactly. You ran off to Japan and refused to even answer your phone just because you were hoping it would protect us. If you'd had that number in North Korea, you'd be dead," Danny said quietly, no heat behind the words, just solid conviction. "Do you know how many nights I've woken up in a cold sweat after dreaming it was you we found on that bunker floor instead of Jenna? Or that you were dead when we found you in the truck?

"So yes," Danny continued, because he was going to get this point through to Steve if it took a hundred repetitions, "when Joe implied that the world might end--or at least your life--if you knew about the number, I kept it a secret. I lost more sleep over it, but I kept it, because call me crazy, but your life matters, and I've lost enough in my life already. I can't be party to losing you, too. So if you don't like it, you can a) take a look at your own actions in the last two years, and b) go fuck yourself very much, thank you."

Steve stared at him, no hint of whether the words had gotten through this time. At least he wasn't yelling, but after a full minute, Danny shook his head and took his hand back. "Okay, fine."

He turned to go, already planning his next line of reasoning for sober Steve in the morning, but then a broken "Danny...." stopped him dead in his tracks.

He turned around, taking back the two steps he'd gone until he was almost touching Steve. "Yeah?"

"My mom's alive," Steve said finally. "Twenty years and no one told me--over half my and Mary's lives we've lived with this...this weight that our mom was dead...and all this time she's been fine, living a completely different life thousands of miles away."

"People will do anything to protect the ones they love."

"What good is protecting them if it breaks them in the process?"

"You're not broken, babe." Danny gave him a small smile. "You've turned into an excellent person and, aside from an unhealthy affection for explosives, I wouldn't have you any other way."

"My mom's alive."

"I know." Danny laced his fingers through Steve's again. "So the question is...are you going to continue living as though she wasn't alive, exactly what you're upset she made you do all these years, or are you going to take that opportunity that you'd have given anything to have up until you found out you did, and get to know her? Because the former seems pretty stupid, and you are not what I would call stupid."

"You call me stupid all the time."

"No. No, I do not. I call you a lot of variations on crazy--all of which are completely valid, by the way--but not stupid."

The corner of Steve's mouth quirked up, and Danny found it a lot easier to breathe all of a sudden. "I distinctly remember at least one rant including 'stupid.'"

"Yeah, but you're drunk. Your memory isn't that great."

Steve rubbed at his face with his free hand. "You might be right about that," he agreed. "Drunk and tired."

"Oh my God," Danny said with mock horror. "You just admitted to being tired? Should I take you to the hospital?"

"Shut up, Danno."

"Make me."

Steve's smile spread a little further this time. "Okay."

He leaned in for a short kiss before Danny pulled back, squeezing Steve's hand. "Come on, there's a nice, soft bed at home that's got your name on it."

"Carving my name on the bedpost already?" Steve asked as he let Danny lead him down to the Camaro.

"Funny," Danny said. "You're a funny guy."

"I keep telling you that."

"Yes, and I'm humoring you because you're drunk. I will deny it all tomorrow."

They reached the Camaro, and Steve climbed obediently into the passenger seat, his head against the window and his eyes closed by the time Danny got into the car. Danny squeezed Steve's arm, just for an excuse to touch him, before he started the Camaro and pointed it home.

***

Danny watched from across the living room as Chin spoke with Malia's mother. Chin's eyes were red, and there was a tightness to his mouth that Danny associated with particularly gruesome cases, usually involving kids, but that was a comfort after the first couple of days when he'd thought Chin was never going to recover. Even though it sucked, suffering was a requirement for recovery.

His eyes drifted to Steve, listening to one of Chin's younger cousins, but his eyes spending more time on Danny than the teen, even though Danny could tell Steve was still listening. Steve had only arrived a few minutes ago, having received a phone call just after the graveside service. He'd given Danny the look that he already recognized as 'Mom's calling' and gone off to take the call in his truck before heading to Chin's.

"Having this much family this close still gives me hives," Kono said as she stopped beside Danny, looking around the room.

"You're lucky to have this much family," Danny said.

"You say that now, but if twenty-one of them had turned up just to see you off to prom, you'd feel differently."

Danny smiled. "I might at that," he agreed. "How's he doing?" he asked, nodding at Chin.

"He'll be okay. He's stronger than he looks."

"And yet more fragile than people realize," Danny said, remembering the hurt he'd seen in Chin's eyes when he'd faced people who assumed he'd stolen all that money.

"But only if you know him well," Kono replied. "Kind of like someone else we know," she added, jerking her head in Steve's direction.

Danny let his eyes linger on Steve. "Yeah, they are a lot alike in some ways, aren't they?"

"Just a little. Just don't--"

"--let them hear you say that? I know."

They both laughed, and Danny felt Steve step up beside him a second before Steve asked, "Do I want to know what's so funny?"

"No," Kono and Danny said in unison, laughing again.

"I'm going to go check on Chin," Kono said, beating a hasty retreat.

Steve bumped against Danny in a way he suspected Steve thought was subtle. "What was so funny?"

"Nothing," Danny said. "How was your call?" he asked, choosing his words carefully, in case they were overheard.

"Frustrating," Steve said. "Better than no call at all," he conceded, "but we won't be having visitors anytime soon."

Translation: Even though Wo Fat was behind bars, Steve's mother wasn't budging on coming back from the dead just yet. Not when Wo Fat had escaped so easily the first time. "I'm sorry," Danny said, squeezing Steve's arm for a second, then dropping his hand.

"I might be able to go over there in a couple of weeks though," Steve said, far too carefully, his eyes on anything in the room but Danny. "Wanna come?"

Danny blinked at him. "Steven McGarrett," he said, leaning in to whisper as quietly as possible, "are you taking me to meet your mother?"

He pulled back in time to see Steve's grin. "Are you coming or not, asshole?"

"Wouldn't miss it," Danny replied instantly.

Steve reached out to take Danny's hand in his, and Danny squeezed in return, hopeful for the first time in a while that maybe, just maybe, everything would be okay in the end.

\------  
END

**Author's Note:**

> Want to learn more about me and my writing? Visit my page at <http://www.jamiemeadowswrites.com/>


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